dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
