I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
