I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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