I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
