dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
