spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize