Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
