hell yes lets make some ravioli
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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