he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
