O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
