He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
