I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
