all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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