WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
