like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
and she was petting her beer can
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
