plz talk dirty to me
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Randomize
