If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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