You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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