Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
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How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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