I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize