I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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