God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's shark week go big or go home
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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