They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
