Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize