i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize