We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
