omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
