Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
They took my balls.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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