you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
me + whiskey = a bad person
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
