I hate all girls vehemently.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
