i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!