I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?