Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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