Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
