ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
