you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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