You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize