I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
