Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize