I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
