when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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