Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
