do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
