Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
