i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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