I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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