mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
