Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize