You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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