why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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