we have pet lesbian snakes
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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