All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
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it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
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My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.