oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sober January is a disaster.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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