We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
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Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
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He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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