my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
