You smell like stripper and shame
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
