I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
