Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I need help removing her.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
