I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
