Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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